a kind of new year

the new year rang in without alarm.
as we tripped into midnight i shouted “happy new year!” but no one reacted. music swallowed up my voice. conversations continued. bottles tipped back. i shrugged.

the start to 2014 feels less like a start and more like a general carrying on. there are no big resolutions, no grand declarations. there simply continues to exist an urge to start real life.

yesterday, i floated on a glassy topped lake. from the little aluminum boat, i watched the hills watch themselves in the reflection. me and someone special putted out to the middle of quietness and cut the engine. we settled sweetly down into the thick silence of nature and forgot real life for not long enough. afternoon sun warmed the piece of me grown heavy and, as we brought the propellers back to life, my heart twinged. i wanted to bottle the sounds around me. i wanted to box up the sublime peace. i did not want to go, especially not back to the world of cars, people, agendas, and busy moments.

what grew apparent to me yesterday was brought to life in full today. i touched the sands of two separate beaches. tires rolled me over roads splitting a passage through the forrest. there was sky, there was sun, there was contentment and quiet i miss regularly.

if there is to be a mission for 2014, the mission is to find stillness. the mission is to let go, and be. the mission is to release the energy holding me back from living the life i imagine and know is possible. the mission is to find the quiet, the peace, where ever i may be.

i am not about resolutions that lose motivation. i am not about rules or black and white. but i am about progress. i am about dedication to evolution. i am about the slow unfoldings.

i am about the process, in whole.

as i watched the trees yesterday and today, i realized just how much i need their grace, their patience, their ability to stand, regardless. trees openly revel in the sun. they drink the rain without complaint. they allow the wind, let it rustle them clean. there is no defiance, no shirking away.

this year i want to do the same. i want to be fully alive and engaged in life’s elements. i want to stand, regardless.

so, here is to the brave new journey. here is to the ushering in. here is to the miracle making, life directing, and bold hearted goodness that existence is.

happiest new year, little lights.



This entry was published on January 3, 2014 at 6:57 pm. It’s filed under creativity, dreams and things, emotions and stuff, free write, head trips, heart, honest conversation, lately, life, personal stories, photography, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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