lately, most days feel hopeful. the ground is more solid. i am tethered to the earth and its practicality by an innate knowledge that life is saturated in beauty. there buzzes a sensory happiness — i feel it, i see it, i think it. born from this floating happiness comes light. i can shine it onto every living being i seek, including my self.
my words enter the world without malice, fear, anger. they wish to produce gentleness, peace, and understanding.
‘contended’ is a state of practice, of trusting and knowing. unless we make it our lives practice, happiness cannot be our eternal state of being. we work at it. is it not human to wake up one day questioning humanity and our very selves, in it?
the worlds heaviness smacks me around a few days out of the month. i grow extra tired, a little slow, and sharp around the edges.
i curl up, protective like a hissing cat.
on these days i let fly at the world and to myself words that are meant to showcase my feelings. you will know when i am angry. you will know when i am frustrated. you will know when i am filled up with sadness.
on these days, i do not actively choose to see the big picture and my hand in painting it. i sink into pitying self-pity and forget that i am not alone. from this sense of worthlessness and disassociation, i lose the power in my words.
i create, with my own voice, a less peaceful world. i used to know my words affected people, but i never really understood how directly. now, on days i am testy and toddler like in expression, i try to notice my words and the reactions to my words. did i hurt someone? did i hurt my self?
beneath the nastiness of my human emotional imperfection, i know i never truly want to hurt someone. i may wish to cause a person temporary harm by lashing out verbally against him or her, but it is never a choice that makes me feel good, only regretful.
energy fuels every single action. the type of energy powering our daily lives depends on our circumstances and our varying abilities to handle stress. but we always have a choice in how we project ourselves into the world.
we all experience the emotional ups and downs. learning to forgive and love our human emotional field is easier when we employ kinder words. if we did not see ourselves as singular, as separate and individual, perhaps we would see our selves in others more clearly. from this clarity might come commiseration. commiseration helps lend to our language a gentleness.
when i am kind in speech and understanding, towards myself and towards others, “messing up” feels less like failure and more like “a learning experience”. it helps me to be more expansive and less controlling and judgemental. it helps me spread the peace in my heart and soul i believe in.
can we challenge ourselves to step outside of our own universe to interact with the world at large? to kindly acknowledge the people in it?
our world is beautiful.
consider what fun it is to brighten, not darken it, through the use of positive words!