friend, far away

i am frustrated
IMG_6495
by your fickle

love,

love.

i am distracted

by the words

in my chest

when i see you.

their flames

burn

holes

in my lungs,

blister

the soft

slickness

of my throat.

you’ve hurt me

more than

can be expressed

from one sensitive heart

to the next.

promise me not a single word

ever again

they are empty

as you grow empty

in the midst of

change your resistance

screeches at.

it hurts to care

so deeply

about someone

who couldn’t and can’t

care

for me

when it was and is all,

all and everything

needed,

who chose instead

in fear

to chastise personal pain

to belittle it

to the ground.

did anyone ever tell you

you catch more flies with

honey

not

vinegar?

forgive me

call me

selfish

petty

no good

call it

an act

of protection

of stubborn retreat

of whatever will warm your sense of rightness

i am tried of trying

and crying

over stitches

that pop open

no matter how tenderly

i sew them closed.

there is love

without expectation

i’d much rather

spend time nurturing.

i cannot be

the only one

holding us up,

holding us together,

holding.

i cannot be

this person

any longer

for you.

z

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This entry was published on June 9, 2013 at 10:33 am. It’s filed under emotions and stuff, free write, honest conversation, life lessons, personal stories, photography, poetry, rambles and writing, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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