words recorded on forty minute drives home*

emerging adulthood makes me want to vomit
IMG_6104
i am so sick of myself.

i’m tired of listening to whine from background noise drone,
coating every conversation i share, with other people and any intimate moment
held within a space of a few feet, from one another

there’s a type of vulnerability that lies between my ribs
and it’s cracking me open
slowly

my heart starts beating, profusely through the cracks it can manage
to find, of which there are many inside —
these openings.

that type of emotion can’t be withheld for too long

this was the mask i built and,
in order to take it off, you are required to peel every layer
till you have my bones, exposed

cause isn’t that really just what you are — bones?
in the end isn’t that what you are? bones and the stuff
that live inside the hollows? your real core —
the stardust inside of you that goes back to meet the sky, eventually.

i’m feeling sort of shut up
sort of put out

all by my own doing

like i got tired of my self living in my self so i kicked my self out
for a week or two just to have the space alone again

it’s weird

to reject the person you are but love
those traits of you you see in other people who are,
simply, reflections of you, too

z

(* what i mean by that is i literally turn on the recorder on my phone and just talk out loud without thinking. this is what comes out. this was weird.)

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This entry was published on April 18, 2013 at 1:25 pm. It’s filed under creative conversation, photography, poetry, rambles and writing, weird, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “words recorded on forty minute drives home*

  1. Well said! I finally gave up long drives to work. Maybe I need to return to them :)

  2. I feel like we’ve both been given the word ‘vulnerability’ for this month, if that makes any sense

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