dreams

two years ago, i graduated from college

(a poem i read, whose author i unfortunately forget)

well,
techincally,
two years ago in december but
what’s two or so months?

anyway

i graduated college in three and a half years
meaning:
i got out of there HELLA. QUICK.

(i am from northern california. i love the word ‘hella’. deal with it.)

by the last semester, i knew the major i chose
did not suit the person i was becoming

bound by anxiety,
fear, and
the inability to stay in school a second longer,
i refused to sign up for a new major
as i finished out my original one

admission:
big challenges requiring long, difficult work intimidate me

which leaves me here,
a two year graduate with a BA in creative writing
working as a checker in a grocery store and
generally resenting her position in life

a position,
mind you,
i have the power to change

yeah
i said it
i have the power

to say
“fuck you” to my current employer
and
“fuck off” to my fear
and all the excuses it stuffs me with

i have the power to pull my dreams down
from the clouds and sow them into solid ground,
to nurture what life is asking of me, to realize within myself
the power i hold as an individual

there are no more excuses to be made

those faint unsettling truths i experienced on the eve of my commencement two years ago turned out to be true —

i do have much more to learn

i dream
of changing the world,
of serving others and promoting
peace along with justice

a dream fueled
by childlike innocence,
i suppose,
and a life long fascination with
helping people

nonetheless,
this is
a dream worth chasing

which, i’ve learned through many sad hours spent
perusing the internet job postings,
means more school is required for me to begin
making my dreams a reality

this has been a long winded rant to give you this conclusion:

i am applying to law school.

and i’m really fucking excited

following dreams will do that, i think.

what dreams are you following?

much love,

zoe

Advertisements
This entry was published on September 13, 2012 at 7:08 pm. It’s filed under a serious note, dreams and things, emotions and stuff, happy heart, happy life, honest conversation, life and living, life lately, rambles and writing, thoughts and musings and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “dreams

  1. YAY, I’m so proud of you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: