on being taken for granted

i’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately

(a thursday night recently passed)

not romantic ones
(honestly, i don’t care about those very much)

but friendship ones
the ones where you call to say “hi” or
ask “how are you?”
just cause
(does that happen any more?)

because what does it mean when people you consider friends don’t really call?
(probably nothing)

sometimes i think my friends take me for granted

a lot of people describe me as
“so sweet!”
“so nice!”
“so considerate!”

which can translate to people walking all over me simply because i am so sweet, so nice, and so considerate. a lot of friends never call. a lot of friends seem to forget we’re friends at all. recently a friend told me “don’t be sorry — you’ve been putting in such an effort and i’ve been dragging.” is that a real friendship?

i keep asking myself things like
what dictates a friendship?
what do the parameters of friendship actually look like?
how much effort should i have to put in?

friendships are like any other relationship: they require work to work.
however: i always feel like i am working.

there exists always an underlying need to please, a trait i am learning to temper and balance. yet i feel i genuinely give. meaning, i give because i love giving. not because i expect anything in return or anything like that. but friendships are give and takes, right?

i need to save a little giving for myself instead

(told you i was confused about everything!)

much love,


(p.s: i am not stressing so much over this, just objectively thinking)

This entry was published on August 3, 2012 at 5:15 pm. It’s filed under head trips, life and living, life lessons, questions, rambles and writing, relationship dissections, thoughts and musings and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “on being taken for granted

  1. Delilah on said:

    I can remember my mother sitting on the phone for hours with her best friend. I grew up in a time before the internet and people actually…gasp, called each other. I miss those days.

  2. The fact that this post is signed with my name makes too much sense. I could have written every word

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