how we use them to judge ourselves
to judge others
bodies are institutes for shame
in europe i watched women eat bread
and ice cream
not gluten free spinach pasta
the kind overtly body conscious people replace with salad at dinner
i know we can say
‘it’s because they walk every where!’
something like that
that’s not really an excuse, is it?
we talk about bodies like they shape the person we are completely
like big thighs means less heart
round tummies means cruelty
when all it means is
maybe if we talked about other things it wouldn’t matter
maybe if we redirected our attention, positive and negative, elsewhere
we wouldn’t worry so much
because, the truth is,
i’m really tired of talking about bodies.
i’d rather talk about things like
my body is round
i feel beautiful
to call myself beautiful and squishy out loud
one who met me as i stumbled into an eating disorder but didn’t stick around to watch me stumble out
my friend said something to me
on the phone
‘and i bet you lost weight from all the walking’
like it mattered more than the people i met or
the things i saw or
how achingly different i feel inside
i thought two things
‘what a funny thing to say to someone in recovery’
‘she doesn’t know me at all’
don’t fit together to me
why fight the very thing cradling
the very thing you are?
with that being said,
what do you love about your body?
what do you love about you?